Remembering...

When I was pregnant with Liam, I remember looking at my sweet first born Avery and wondering how I could love anything as much. Well, as anyone with more than one child knows it's easy. They come into your world and your heart melts as much for the second as it did for the first. So, now as I prepare to welcome #3 I know that I will love her just as much as I do Avery and Liam. But this past week as I have been trying to get ready, and hoping my body is getting ready something funny has been happening. I find myself watching my beautiful children in amazement, and loving them more than ever.
Cody and I sat and played with Liam the other night for hours it felt like. It was late at night, Avery was long asleep. Liam should have been too, but he was being so sweet and funny that we just played and laughed with him. He was singing every song he knows to Cody and trying to teach Cody the words. Being unbelievably bossy and demanding, but so hilarious at the same time. I was watching him sleep last night, with his impossibly long eyelashes spread out over his face thinking how perfect he is, and how huge and grown up he is going to seem when we bring this new little one home.
And Avery seems so grown up already. She just finished her first soccer season, we just got her first school picture back, all these "firsts" that she still seems too little for. We were looking at all of the hundreds (maybe thousands) of pictures we've taken of her on the laptop the other day. She loved it and wanted to hear the story behind every one. I watched her grow up right before my eyes on the screen. She is so loving to her family, and every one for that matter. She is getting so smart, she has so many questions. Her little mind is thinking and working all of the time. On Saturday night we went to "light the night" it was a fundraiser walk for Leukemia/ Lymphoma society. Cody's sweet ten year old cousin Hannah died from Leukemia last December. Avery knew her well, and we had to explain a lot about life and death in the time she was sick. Avery talks about her all of the time and wonders what she's doing now. She misses her a lot. Well, we were walking and she very seriously asked Cody "How does walking two miles help Hannah" she didn't ask in a bratty, I don't want to be here kind of way. She really wanted to know. So, he just told her the truth. That it won't directly help Hannah, but it raises money to help other people with the same disease. And that we think it would make Hannah happy to see us all there together, doing something to remember her and to help others.
I love my family so much. I love watching my husband play with and love his children. And even though I'm nervous to have three little ones, I'm so excited to meet this new person and see who she is. I've often wondered who she will look like, if she will favor Liam or Avery, or be completely different. I wonder what her personality will be like and who she will become. I'm excited to see Cody with another tiny baby, and to see how Liam and Avery love and take care of her. I know I'll be spread thinner and that will be hard sometimes, but I feel so blessed to get to raise and influence another sweet spirit. I know this is long and rambling, I guess it's a product of too many mommy hormones!!